Welcome to the Zotz Homepage.

I am, of course, Mr. Zotz, and within these walls you'll find . . . well, whatever I want to tell you about. Firstly, my apologies : I know it's all a bit cheesy around here, but I'm sick and tired of saying that I'm going to put something up once I'm happy it's ready. I'll just never get around to it. I'm not a design guru, and I'm never going to be. Either you know me at least vaguely, or these pages aren't going to interest you very much. Having said which:

The main topics of potential interest are

• Me. A bit hopeful I know, but if you want to know who I am, what I'm interested in, or even what I look like, then this is where to look.

• My work. I'm a finisher. If this doesn't mean anything to you, you may be somewhat enlightened within.

• Play. I do have a life outside work, although for reasons more fully explained elsewhere, it's not what it used to be.

• Friends. I do have some of these, although for the same reason's I've just alluded to, most of them live several hundred miles away. Regardless of which, here you can find out about some of them.

• Bellyaching.I'm periodically given to producing a brief tract expounding my current mindset. There may (or may not) currently be one available. These are very tedious if you don't know me personally.

Not all of these are certain to be available, but if you start getting 404s, then just look on it as an opportunity to evaluate your browser's Back button.

Come to think of it, how come nobody's started a band called 404 State?

This page witten by me, using HoTMetaL Light. I've been fiddling with it for about an hour, and I hate it already. Maybe the full-price version's better, but quite frankly I doubt it. I'm going to have to go back and edit the source when I'm finished here to correct all the mistakes I've made that it won''t let me change without deleting huge swathes. Which destroys the point of using a dedicated HTML editor. Back to the good ol' O'Reilly reference card, methinks. Anyway, © me 1997, but feel free to rip it off if it makes you feel good.